Posted on January 7, 2025 

Mental health care is a deeply personal journey, yet so many individuals seeking support often feel judged or invalidated in the process. This sense of dissatisfaction is more than just discouraging—it can be dangerous. When someone feels misunderstood or unaccepted, it increases the likelihood that they’ll disengage from treatment, developing deeper, more ingrained beliefs about mental health care that can become barriers to seeking support.

As clinicians, we hold a significant responsibility when someone walks through our doors. Whether they come to us with the weight of anxiety, depression, or trauma, our role is clear: to offer a safe, nonjudgmental space where they can begin to heal.

Carl Rogers, a well-known figure in the world of psychotherapy, coined the term “unconditional positive regard.” While I agree with his approach in principle, I believe that the language of “regard” is a bit too impersonal for what we, as providers, truly need to offer. It's not just about maintaining a positive stance; it's about ensuring that our clients feel deeply cared for—that no matter what they share with us, they won’t shock or upset us.

I’d even go a step further: when a client is in the room with us, we must make it clear that we are not just accepting them, but that we are actively seeing them through a lens of love, care, and genuine concern.

Creating a Human Connection

Our responsibility starts with establishing a genuine rapport. This isn’t just about professionalism—it’s about liking our clients and allowing them to see our humanness. The best therapeutic relationships are built when we step out from behind the “expert” facade and connect as people. Find moments to laugh together, share small moments of connection, and truly let your client see that you are amazed by their insight, wisdom, or honesty.

If you find it hard to tap into these feelings of warmth, it may be time to revisit rapport-building techniques. Don’t hesitate to seek consultation from peers to gain insight into potential blind spots or strategies to deepen the connection. After all, our clients are often coming to us with heavy burdens. They need to feel warmth and compassion, similar to the comfort and acceptance one might feel from a loving mother. When you look at them, let your eyes soften, maybe even light up with a twinkle. Show them you are genuinely happy to be in their presence.

You’ll often know when you’re succeeding in this—clients will tell you, or their body language will speak volumes. When they feel accepted, the door to healing opens. And that’s where real change begins.

Gratitude and Growth

The work we do as clinicians is a gift, and it's crucial that we remember this. When you leave a session, leave with gratitude. Understand it is an honor to be part of your clients' journeys—it's a privilege to be trusted with their vulnerabilities and to witness their struggles, triumphs, and growth.

Each client we work with changes us in some way. The stories they share—their heartbreak, resilience, and courage—teach us more than we could ever learn from a textbook. They give us insight into the human experience and, often, into ourselves.

Don’t hesitate to express this to your clients. Let them know that you, too, have learned from them, and that you are humbled by the growth you've witnessed. You will both leave the therapeutic relationship transformed. And that is the true magic of this work—genuine connection, mutual respect, and a shared journey of transformation.